Family Frameworks


Dec 2012


Don’t you love this quote?  When we get ready for the Christmas season, the warm fuzzy feeling comes from the family and the memories we have made.  Do you remember back when your grandparents would come and you would be so excited?  I remember those times and I loved it.  Grandparents can love unconditionally.  I love the reaction we get with our grandbabies.  My favorite visual is our oldest granddaughter running down the sidewalk with her arms open wide as she ran to Grandy to pick her up and hug her.  As I am becoming a new “Mimi” again (my name for Grandma) I hope that my grandchildren will have warm fuzzy feelings about Grandy and Mimi.  
Unfortunately there is a trend where two grandparents are not together.  My generation chose to go through many divorces and some people have chosen to have babies outside of marriage.  Some people might say that it makes more love for the baby  But when grandparents break up or are with other marriage partners there is awkwardness.  Who’s house do we go to this time?  Who is going to get their feelings hurt this year?  Grandma and Grandpa just go together, like salt and pepper, Batman and Robin, ice cream and cake.  You get the picture.  
There is also the trend that when two people do not grow old together there is no one to take care of them when they are “old”.   Many time’s there is resentment from the children and they don’t feel the obligation to take care of their parent.  They may not live close because they had chosen to move away after the divorce to help with the hurt they experienced. 
When Grandma and Grandpa grow old together there is longer life.  I think it’s the oxytocin (one of my favorite hormones).  But there is evidence that men that stay with their original marriage partner have a 10 year longer life span than those that don’t.  Sorry women we only live 3 years longer.  But men, be thankful, when you grow old with the woman of your youth, she will nag you to take care of yourself.  She will make sure you are eating correctly.  She will not be afraid to tell you that you need to exercise and lose weight.  
Length of time matters.  Just think about those who know you the longest, they know you the best! They know your likes and dislikes.  They know when to intervene and tell you “you’re screwing up” but they also know when you need some encouragement.  They know when to give you a hug and when to let you have your space.  Knowing someone a long time is comfortable.  After all did you say for better for worse, for richer for poorer as long as we both shall live?  
How did they stay together?  They chose to stick out the tough times.  They chose to stay in the relationship when it was hard.  They weren’t always perfect in their communication skills but they chose to keep working on it.  They chose to remain with each other.  Choosing is the key.  
Well, the moral of the story is, “Grow old along with me the best is yet to be”.   How long have you made it last?  What’s the number of years you look forward to?  I keep looking to that magic 50.  That is the GOLDEN year right? 

2 Responses to “”

  1. Matthew Smith

    Do you think we’ll make you Mimi again soon? We can’t wait! I’m looking at the sign over our kitchen table that you gave us…Forever and always, no matter what. I’m planning on living 10 years longer. :)

  2. Kathy Schleier

    AHHHHH.. That’s what I love to hear.

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