Family Frameworks

For Better for Worse, In Sickness and In Health, For Richer for poorer till death do us part


Nov 2013


For the last two times I’ve been able to blog I’ve written about commitment.  To be honest, I was thinking about commitment in respects to adultery, but I think I had a God moment when I was listening to Dave Ramsey on the radio, that commitment is hard when there have been problems with the finances and even with health issues.  I guess that’s why the vows will say in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer.  All these things can cause strains on marriages.  When the statistics say that people say that it’s money problems, is it really or is it a matter of commitment?

If a spouse lies about how they are spending money and causes the finances to go out of control it must be as hard as when there is infidelity, because there is a loss of trust.  I heard Dave Ramsey tell the story of a couple that were working on getting debt free.  The husband was so excited because he saw an end to the tunnel and was telling everyone that he would get to do the “I’m Debt Free” scream.  But then his wife told him of the problem that she had been hiding from him.  She had been very frightened to admit that she had run up the credit card to $15,000 I think.  The husband was very angry at first and stormed out of the house and drove around for a couple of hours.

As he drove around his heart was softened and he decided if he was able to get debt free once he could do it again.  When he got home he and his wife sat down and he forgave her they worked out a plan, then moved forward again.  It took him another 18 months before he could do the “Debt Free” scream, but this time it was even more meaningful because they had gone through the tough times and learned how to communicate about their finances better and they felt closer because of it.

Another incident can be when a family loses a child or when a family has a disabled child.  That is extremely stressful for a family.  So much emotional stress, and most don’t make it through that.  I remember taking care of children on the oncology floor and watching the families either cling together or drift apart.

I was watching a video from Project Everlasting with Matt Boggs and Jason Miller.  They showed a couple that had been married 67 years.  They asked for the secret to their marriage and she said… “Commitment, commitment, commitment and commitment… then all that other stuff.  I never thought about divorcing him, murder maybe but not divorce.”  Here’s a little taste of some of those committed couples. Enjoy!!

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