Family Frameworks

Taking the Easy Way Doesn’t Make it Necessarily Easy


May 2013


As you know recently I did the 440 miles of the Natchez Trace.  Before I did this I had been having some aches and pains and one especially in my neck.  I had been going to a great Physical Therapist that was helping me to deal with this.  But I was still having a lot of difficulty especially after the trip.  As he was telling me he pointed out the scar on my neck.  This was from the surgery I had two years ago for a bone spur.

At the time when I decided to succumb to surgery I did not know that there were any other options.  I had been in pain for 8 years and was starting to lose muscle in my right hand and arm.  So surgery seemed to be a good idea.  I’m not one that likes to have surgery at all, but there comes a time when you have to make a decision.  Well, the surgery went well, but as I have moved forward in an active lifestyle I have had to compensate and some of the compensations that I have made make things worse.   Those compensations have made other muscles work harder and actually overwork, so now I’m in pain when I do the least bit of over work.  I am having to re-learn how to move my neck and practice putting it in better positions.  I’m also having to learn my options in working with this issue.  I must keep working with my neck but may need to adjust my ideas such as riding a recumbent bike versus my Trek road bike, and maybe not running as much and walking more.  But one way or the other I learn how to work with the choices that I made.

In thinking about this I thought about life and marriages, sometimes we make the choice of maybe ending a relationship in divorce, the best thing might have been to continue to work with it and somehow make it work, but many times we might choose to break it off.  When we do this we have more challenges such as children, stepfamily issues, and similar issues that never were resolved.   Pain comes back and there are challenges again.  We have to choose.

No one else knows your situation as well as you, they may think they do and criticize your choice, but you are the one that will live with it.  Then you have to learn how to work with it.  It may have been better to stay with it, but now you are learning how to deal with the challenges you created because you did not stick with it. BUT you have to make your choice and learn.   Start where you are and keep moving forward.  Get back on track.  You find your options and work with them.

By choosing to learn and grow, your relationships will get better, but start where you are.  And I must say you have to do a lot of depending on our God.  He can make all things work for good for those that Love the Lord.  Don’t give up!!!

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