Family Frameworks

How Teaching with Family Frameworks is Changing me as a Parent By Katie Walker, LMSW


Dec 2016


How Teaching with Family Frameworks is Changing Me as a Parent

Part 2

We HAVE to teach our Children to be PASSIONATE and STAND UP for what they believe.

Ask any Healthy Choices Volunteer what topics they think are most important to teach and each one will probably have a different opinion. It all depends on our own past experiences. For me, the dating safety and bullying are super important. I teach the same concept in each one; Stand up for yourself and others; respectfully.

harassmentIn the Dating Safety section, we show the “Tea Consent” video. It’s funny and the kids enjoy it, but most importantly it opens the door for me to empower the kids to say “No” when they get in over their head. Let’s face it, 9th graders think they are grown adults and with media drowning them with sex they are bound to get themselves in adult situations only to find out they aren’t ready. Sadly, most kids don’t know how to get themselves out of those situations and end up making choices that they regret. So, I spend a good portion on the class talking about saying “No,” that it’s okay to change your mind when you get in over your head, and that the other person needs to respect that. I talk about my own experiences and how they affected me. We talk about the “backlash” they experience if they don’t do things other kids are and how to approach that. But, the main point I teach it that at the end of the day they need to be proud of the choices they make, no matter what everyone else is saying about them. I empower them to be confident in their values and hold true to their beliefs. I also teach them it’s okay if they have made mistakes in the past. Just because you do something once, doesn’t mean you have to do it again.

With bullying, I teach very much the same thing; Stand up for other people. If you know it’s wrong, then don’t let it happen. We talk about the power of uniting against bullies and how being passive is actually allowing it to happen. We talk about what would happen if people got together and stood up for others. And…. to be proud of the person you are what you stand for.

All of this got me thinking about how I would teach my daughters these values. I want them to grow up to be women that stand up for themselves and for others. I want them to know what to do in the “Hard” situations. Because let’s face it, they will be in those situations; whether it’s pressure to laugh at a bully’s joke or to be sexually active.

I recently went to the forum for the Senate special election and was talking to my two-year-old about it. I was explaining that mommy was going to ask some important questions and we practiced saying “Here Here, Listen to me! I have something important to say!” My husband gave me the sideways glance that said “Oh buddy, you are going to regret teaching her that.” And I laughed and told him I was teaching her to be a little activist. But as I thought about it, it’s so much more than that.

super-girl I am empowering her to stand up for herself and trust that what she has to say IS important. Because if she believes that, then she will have the confidence to do what’s right; even when she gets in over her head or it’s not the popular thing to do.  She will know she has the power to go against the status quo and be proud of it.

Now, will there be times that I regret teaching her to be outspoken and passionate. Oh yes! But if it will save her from heart ache and pain and give her the courage to live out God’s purpose for her life, then I’ll take the endless mother/daughter battles that are sure to come.

If you are interested in pouring into the future generations of our community and empowering them to be Passionate and Stand Up for themselves and others contact Family Frameworks to learn how.

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