Family Frameworks

31 Wonderfuls!

  • 31 Wonderfuls!

05

May 2016

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Scan0001 (3) Happy Mother’s Day! How many Mother’s Days have you celebrated?   I’ve enjoyed 31 wonderful Mother’s Days.  I look back through the years and remember how challenging being a mom, single mom and then step mom really was.  I never felt I was good enough.  Each developmental stage of my children’s lives were challenges, some more than others.  But I tried my best.  If I could do it all over here’s what I would do….

I would play more with my children.  I found it hard to play at times.  I would get busy with projects in the home or I would get bored playing or I was too tired.  I could have played more Barbies’ or games or anything they wanted to play.  Playing is such a great way to bond with them and the quality time and quantity time are both important.

Scan0004 (2)I would not tell them my frustrations about the other siblings or their father or anyone.  They are too young and don’t need to have those things shared with them.  They need positives poured into them.

I would spend more teen time with them.  When my kids were teens I was under the impression that they didn’t want me around.  But now I realize they did.  I would not leave my son alone as much as I did.  As my son was growing, I loved to watch movies with him, and learn about his passions, but I struggled doing active things with him.  It was more natural for me to spend time with my daughter shopping or talking about girl stuff where as with my son, it was a little harder to find things we enjoyed doing together.

I would encourage them more.  They need many more positive responses than corrections.  I can’t remember if I did enough of these or not.  So if I can’t remember, I must not have done enough (positives that is) Scan0007 (2)

I would hold those babies more.  They need the physical touch.  Since their baby time, I have learned that touch is very good and you don’t spoil too much when you love at the right time.  As I tell mom’s you’re not spoiling them, you’re loving them.

There are other things that I am very glad I did.

I went to their soccer, and basketball games and loved it.  But I did limit their the number of activities they did.  This allowed my husband and I to not resent the time they had at games.  They also had more time for family activities,  and also allowed them to understand that family and school are important.

I did keep to a pretty strict schedule.  We came home, did homework, ate supper and got ready for bed.  This gave them enough time to do all that we needed.

I did bring them to the supper table at least 5 times a week.  Supper was always at 6:30 and we all sat together. This gave us time to talk about the day.  It also allowed us to teach them table manners and how to eat properly by hopefully demonstrating it.

I did limit what they could watch and play as far as video games, TV and movies.  It was interesting when my daughter would call and say “Mom, what do I do, they are watching a PG13 movie and I’m not 13 yet?”.  They both learned how to make good decisions regarding what they watched, and how they spent their time. Scan0006

I did make them go to church and talk about what they believed.  I encouraged them in their spiritual walk and encouraged them to be involved in the church.   We had a special worship time and prayed to gether every night.

I did remarry and give them an example of a healthy relationship.  I also encouraged them in their healthy relationships.  They each had to go through pre-marital counseling before they got any money for their wedding.  Every other weekend it was just my husband and me so we were able to build a strong team and work together to raise ALL of the kids.  And we never gave up working to make it through the tough times.

I miss those days, but now I’ve grown to the next level and love it. I encourage my adult children and help them with their children.  I realize how blessed I am every day with such precious gifts.  I LOVE being a MOTHER!  How many wonderfuls have you celebrated?

 

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