Family Frameworks

My Own Challenge – What I’ve learned

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Feb 2014

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Sparkle I loveyouRecently I posted a challenge for the last four days of February, so that we can keep the spirit of Valentine’s for longer than one day.  When I made up this challenge, (ok, yes I made this one up!) I never thought it would have such a profound effect on my own marriage.  It’s so funny how we are so quick to give out advice and some times we think we don’t even need our own advice.  Well, apparently I need it, or the advice is pretty good and I should take it.

We are on day 6 and I have done the challenge every day.  I have felt a little stupid posting what I did, and kind of 180don’t want my sweet husband to know that I’m challenging myself, so he doesn’t think he’s an experiment, even though he is.  The first day we were supposed to do something that your spouse would not expect.  Well, to be honest there are a lot of things that my husband would love to expect so I had lots of choices.  But I chose to just touch him.  He doesn’t really tell me I don’t touch him enough, but Saturday when I started the challenge, we were in church and he wasn’t feeling his best.  I just rubbed his neck and sat close.  He later told me that it felt so good for me to touch him, he really felt loved and thanked me.  He said I was speaking his language.  Please note, it was not a sexual touch but a loving touch.

Day 2 we were to tell him something we appreciated about him.  I told him I really appreciated him doing so much around the house.  He said thank you.

Day 3, was supposed to be a favorite food.   To be honest, I almost forgot, but I was at Panera and got him his favorite bagel for breakfast.  He did ask me where the cream cheese was.  Wow! I wanted to say, be grateful for what you get, instead, I said I thought he could use the cream cheese we had in fridge.  He was good and no argument or mean words.

Day 4 Tell him you love him in a unique way.  Well, I told my board members about the challenge and encouraged them to join me.  Then I forgot to text him or do something a little different.  Well, I got home and I thought I would put a note on his pillow.  But then I thought, that’s too ordinary.  Then I thought I would put a note in his underwear drawer, but I wanted to put a picture on FB about what I’d done.  I didn’t think that would be appropriate.  So I wrote a little note to just say I love you and I stuck it in his Ipad.  BINGO!! When he got in bed and pulled out his ipad to read there it was.  I heard this chuckle and said “What?”   He said, “I wasn’t expecting that!  I love you too”   Ahhh a warm and fuzzy feeling for both of us.

With this experiment, I’m finding myself being more conscientious about showing, telling and acting more loving to the person I love and respect the most.  Wow!! I’m seeing some change in myself by bringing it to my attention of how I have been so selfish in the past.  Let’s keep going!!!

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