Family Frameworks

Marriage Bumps by Katie Walker MSW

  • Marriage Bumps by Katie Walker MSW


Oct 2016


You wake up and you can still taste the bitterness from the fight you had last night. You want so badly to run to them and curl up in their arms, but your PRIDE won’t let you. I mean, YOU were right, they shouldn’t have said that or done what they did. So you hold your ground. You don’t want to be the one to give in AGAIN…

Every marriage has these moments.  The moment you decide if your pride is more important than your spouse…

Yeah, that’s what you are choosing between when you stop yourself from running into their arms and calling a truce.

The Great News is every moment is another opportunity to rebuild that relationship.

But what if they aren’t ready?

That’s okay, your actions can encourage them to stop building that wall between you. It’s in the way you talk to them, it’s the small things you do for them, or say to them. It’s asking about their day and being ready to genuinely listen. It’s the excitement in your voice when you say “Hello.” Its making them coffee in the morning because you know it would make their life easier. Or making them Chocolate chip cookies, or better yet running by a bakery and picking up their favorite treat.

You can’t control when they decide to let it go and stop building the wall between you, but you can protect your heart from becoming full of pride and bitterness too. A marriage can’t survive with two prideful bitter people building walls to keep the other person out. It just takes one person willing to stop building their wall and become a little more selfless.

Does that mean that you pretend the argument never happened?


It just means you are willing to come back to it without all the emotion and pride you had before. It means you have chosen to look at the situation with new eyes and you are no longer clouded by false accusations and past hurts. It means you have chosen to talk it through with the belief that your spouse has no hate or ill will toward you and therefore you aren’t armed to protect yourself from the person that loves you more than life itself. Because when pride fills our marriage, it’s easy to lose just how much they love you.

And in the end, does it matter who holds out the longest before apologizing? Isn’t life happier in the arms of the one you love regardless of how you got back there?

So take that next moment and seize the opportunity to place your marriage before your pride. Because your pride can’t love you back, but can make you one lonely bitter person.

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