Family Frameworks

How Teaching with Family Frameworks is Changing Me as a Parent By Katie Walker, LMSW

09

Dec 2016

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How Teaching with Family Frameworks is Changing Me as a Parent

Part 1

mom-talking-to-daughter

You HAVE to TALK with your kids.

I’m a little fanatic about what my kids are exposed to, I watch how much sugar they have, what foods they eat, and what chemicals they are exposed to. I panicked when people let them watch T.V. as infants.  I am a new mom… And while my plan is to move them to an organic self-sustaining farm away from anyone or anything that could hurt them and only let them date the guys my husband and I hand select, I realize that’s insane and I can’t control everything they are exposed to in life. No matter how much I wish I could.

I taught a class on the influences of Media and I realized how much kids are told not to do stuff or watch certain things, but never really told why. In the class, we talked about movies they had seen. Two classes brought up Fifty Shades of Grey and several brought up Grey’s Anatomy. Over half of each class had seen Fifty Shades of Grey. So we talked about the two shows and if there were any positives from them. I watched as, especially the girls, justified people cheating on each other or using people. One girl tried to point out that in Fifty Shades of Grey he never cheated and said he looked after her…. My heart sank. They were romanticizing what they were seeing and ignoring the negative. Or worse didn’t even see the negative.  I walked them through each relationship and pointed out the unhealthy aspects. Slowly, some of the girls started changing what they were saying.

As I drove home I realized I may not be able protect my girls from seeing the train wrecks they call relationships on T.V.  but I can use them as examples and explain to them why they are unhealthy. I can point out the amazing qualities of their father and other men in their lives. And, I can teach them what God says a biblical relationship looks like.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that has graphic content which means as a mom I have to learn to have the graphic conversations. We are not in a place in society where I can afford to shy away from the hard conversations with my kids. Because if it’s not me or my husband talking to them about it then it’s going to Mr. Grey or Mr. McSteamy teaching them what a “relationship” looks like…

 

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